


Ready for Abduction

by lamename



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkwardness, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Megamind Month Gift Exchange, Not Beta Read, Songfic, but honest conversation on other feelings too, self-deprecation, well technically so but might not have the usual Vibe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamename/pseuds/lamename
Summary: Megamind catches Roxanne singing “E.T.”
Relationships: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 49





	Ready for Abduction

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Megamind Month gift exchange for spikystarsandshinyleather/ivarlevris-art, as a MegaRox fic. 
> 
> Obviously, the inspiration behind this fic was E.T. by Perry… I’m not gonna write an essay on my views on her and meanings behind her lyrics. That said: I don’t consider myself her fan, but I really wanted to put these specific lines into this context. I hope that this fic can be viewed separately from all the controversies, especially as I imagine the fic takes place around a decade ago. 
> 
> Happy Megamind anniversary!

Megamind stepped off the hoverbike, landing softly on Roxanne’s balcony. He needn’t have worried about stealth, though. Some sort of beat was emanating from Roxanne’s apartment. The rhythm was ramping up his excitement for kidnapping Roxanne, so he took a breath of the cool evening air to center himself.

He peered closer through the window. The lights were on, but Roxanne was nowhere to be seen. Megamind had just lifted his hand to open the door when the beat sped up and Roxanne swayed into the room, tousling her hair with a towel and singing along.

_“Kiss me, k-k-kiss me, infect me with your love and fill me with your poison.”_

Megamind’s blood turned cold as Roxanne’s voice carried the words to him. His hand dropped to his side and he gaped at Roxanne’s carefree moves.

_“Take me, t-t-take me, wanna be your victim, ready for abduction.”_

Megamind pressed his eyes shut. Instead of a potential victory (or rather the sweet prospect of spending time with Roxanne), he tasted bile. His brain was screaming at him to get away but his frozen limbs couldn’t hear reason what with all the noise.

 _“Boy, you're an alien, your touch so foreign. It’s supernatural, extra-terrestrial—_ Oh!”

His eyes flew open, catching Roxanne’s stare. They stood there motionless until Roxanne blushed and pulled the door open.

“Megamind.” She sounded out of breath and wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Miss Ritchi...” 

Roxanne smoothed her hair. “I don’t really listen to pop music, but this song is kinda catchy and so when it played on the radio today, it got stuck in my head. There’s probably an interesting story about it, how channels of Metro City like to play it and what’s the inspiration for this song--”

“I have never kidnapped Kahty Perry.”

That halted Roxanne’s babbling. She gaped at him, then took a deep breath and said quietly yet surely, “I didn’t think you had.” Roxanne tugged on her bathrobe and stepped back, motioning for Megamind to enter. “Sorry, do you want anything to drink? Tea?”

Megamind paused before nodding. He followed Roxanne to the kitchen. Now that the song had ended, the clanks involved in tea-making sounded unnaturally loud.

“Awkward, isn't it?” Roxanne smiled like she did on TV. “I never thought about ruining your plans in this particular way.” She slid a cup over to where he was perched and he muttered a thanks as he wrapped his hands around the warmth.

“Miss Ritchi, how do you really feel about the kidnappings?” His voice almost broke under the guilt, but he forced himself to meet Roxanne’s gaze.

She blushed. “If you’re still thinking of the song, that’s not what it’s like! They are a horrible inconvenience, but it could be worse. You’re very considerate for a kidnapper. Also, sometimes I have fun.”

“But that's not an appropriate reaction!” Megamind’s fingers tapped against the cup. “Have you considered seeing a psychologist?” He held up his hands when Roxanne blinked at him, and continued, “I'm not saying you're weak! You're the strongest person I know! Just, sometimes it’s hard to notice something is wrong with you, and I don’t want you to suffer.”

Roxanne leaned closer over the kitchen table. “Megamind! I might want you to kidnap me sometimes, but that’s because I,” she looked at him from under her lashes, “I like to think we’re friends. We’ve gotten to know each other over the years, and conflicting roles aside, we get along well.”

“Friends?” Megamind echoed, blinking. “Is this because of Stockholm Syndroh-me?” He ignored Roxanne’s groan as she buried her face in her hands. “There’s nothing wrong with talking to a psychologist. I'm not a good baseline for normalcy, but I would've visited one if I had been able to.” He stared into his tea.

Roxanne’s hands hovered over Megamind’s gloved ones before taking hold of them. The one part of Megamind’s brain that was still working, started calculating the possibility that something in the tea was a hallucinogenic to him. Something _must_ have gone terribly wrong. Had he any strength, he’d be running away and calling Minion for backup.

“Okay, if someday you’d like to tell me the story behind that, I’ll be here to listen. Hell, if you’d like, we could go to therapy together.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. (Megamind’s brain switched over to estimating the speed of his cardiovascular system failure.) “But Megamind, your abductions have not changed me. You might call yourself a supervillain, yet compared to the average citizen, you kind of suck at being evil.” Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

Megamind drew in a breath. “So now you’re calling me incompetent.”

Roxanne laughed, and Megamind’s heartbeat quickened at the sound. “A moment ago, you were worried that I started to like you to survive your torture! I’m serious, Megamind. I feel safe with you.”

“You can’t _know_ that! And if it’s not a survival instinct, then why would you tolerate my company?” Shaking off Roxanne’s touch, Megamind lifted his cup and slurped as obnoxiously as he could. If it scalded a little, well – it would serve to show her he’s tough.

Roxanne’s smile disappeared, and Megamind thought he could detect a trace of pity in her eyes. He cut in before she could. “Is it because you like how Metro Mahn rescues you?”

That earned him a frown. “No. He's too full of himself after 'saving the day', I can't see why people think I'd want to date him.” Roxanne walked around the table to Megamind’s side, gently shutting his gaping jaw. “I don’t mind the kidnappings because I get to spend time with you. But it's not as weird as it all sounded. See, I'm not even ready to be kidnapped!” She leaned back and flung her arms out, drawing attention to her tattered bathrobe.

Withdrawing his eyes from Roxanne's glistening collarbones, Megamind stood on shaky legs. “Right. I'll be going, be back at a more opportune time.” He turned, but Roxanne gripped his arm.

“I'd like it if you stayed,” she whispered. That, more than the touch, made him wobble back around to face her. He was probably too close to her, but she wasn’t shying away.

“Why is it so hard to believe I like you? You’re clever, compassionate, and witty. Anyone would be lucky to have you, both as a friend and,” she bit her lip, “as a partner.”

Megamind blinked. The touch was real, and Roxanne was looking at him in anticipation; the only way any of this would make sense was— “Is this… _because_ I’m an alien?” Roxanne had always treated him like a person, but the few people who had tried to come on to him…

Roxanne’s face crumpled but her voice was calm as she said, “No, Megamind, that’s not it at all. I know you can’t really understand it now, but I am serious about you. I want you to know that, even if I hadn’t planned on confessing so unexpectedly. I’m definitely going to insist on us going to therapy together when you’re ready.” Laughing hollowly, she let go and took a step back. “I’m also getting ahead of myself. Have you been trying to give me a hint to drop it? Megamind, how do you feel about me?”

"No, I like you too!” Megamind had to dispel the anxiety on Roxanne’s face immediately so he decided to let it all out. “Love you, even,” he mumbled before clearing his throat. “I simply didn’t think you could feel anything in the vicinity of the same. You’re the smartest person I know, you’re not afraid of me, you have the strongest morals. And you have the best banter.”

Blushing, Roxanne looked at him through her lashes. “Is that all?”

Megamind gulped and let his eyes run around the apartment, feeling his own cheeks heat up. “Is that a trick question?”

Roxanne’s laugh was bright and free, like Megamind imagined the music of the stars. It echoed in his ears as Roxanne pressed her lips to his.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave concrit (or comments of other kind). I'm not going to edit this fic heavily but I might even fix some minor mistakes


End file.
